What does trauma mean to you? Not everyone has experienced, “Trauma”, but that does not mean that their body has not experienced trauma in some way, shape, or form. When we think of trauma we often think of “Trauma” with a capital T. Big “T” traumas are tragedies, loss, assault, war, near death experiences, abuse… the list goes on and on. Those experiences create a stress response within the body and can potentially impact how someone stores their memories and how safe they feel in their environment. Those are the “better known” Traumas. But what about the small “t” traumas?
Small “t” traumas are the little ruptures that happen on a more frequent basis that build on one another to create a narrative of lack of safety and security. These smaller experiences, that are added together over time, create neural networks and learned associations in our brain. Learned associations then become our personal narratives that shape what we see as being possible in our lives. Little “t’s” can also cause a stress response and impact our perception of ourselves and our environment.
Let’s say you experience anxiety when having to meet with your boss in the work place. This is something that confuses you. You know consciously that your boss is a kind and considerate person, however the feelings of nervousness flood your body whenever you have to meet. Ask yourself, “When was the first time I felt a similar way?” Perhaps you had an experience as a young child in school where you felt shame after speaking to an adult in your life. This experience was then compounded by giving a presentation in high school where your teacher made an unkind comment in front of the class and another time in college where you were late to class and your professor called you out for it, resulting in discomfort and embarrassment. All of these events added together created a belief about yourself. What do all of these experiences say about you as a person? Perhaps your brain may come up with something along the lines of, “I am a disappointment,” or “I cannot handle pressure”. But are these beliefs true?
Many times, our brain knows consciously that these negative beliefs about ourselves are not completely true. And although our conscious thought knows that these beliefs are not 100% accurate, our body is flooded with that same discomfort as when we were standing in front of our high school class giving a presentation and feeling uncomfortable. There can be a disconnect between what our brain “knows” and what our body “feels”. Let’s explore what to do when your thoughts and feelings aren’t matching up.
Get to know your little “t” traumas. Start to understand how they limit you, empower you, and change your perspective. Ask yourself where you feel that in your body and familiarize yourself with the sensation that you notice. When you start to notice it coming up for you, ask yourself if this is a present feeling or if it is a reaction to something that happened in the past that is being activated within you currently. What does that feeling say about you? What would it mean about you if that feeling were true? Ask yourself if there is a time in your memory where you know that it was false? When you think of the time where that thought was false, what do you feel in your body? In the beginning, this can be a challenging, however, the more you familiarize yourself and develop insight into your mind, the greater choice and power you have to create change if you desire it. Explore the origin stories that come to mind when you think of the little “t’s” and give yourself the opportunity to expand if that feels good to you. Happy Sunday! I hope a beautiful week awaits you.
Mind-Body-Connection 