How we do anything is how we do everything. People are habitual. We very often engage with ourselves and others in ways that are familiar to us. Without conscience change, our boundaries are the same, our conversation style is similar, our routines are identifiable, and our patterns are filled with information about how we engage with ourselves and others. What is your pattern?
Do you start projects but never finish them? Do you date the same types of people? Do you find yourself starting over when thinking about your goals time and time again? Do you get comfortable and then start to go back to old habits? All of these questions represent patterns. Patterns that we can identify, explore insights into, and make conscience changes when we want to. However, before we can make changes we have to understand our patterns, the meaning that they have in our lives and how to support ourselves in making changes that feel authentic to who we are.
Understand your patterns:
How do you think, feel, and behave when things get hard? Do you back down, do you keep going, do you avoid, or do you come up with solutions to problems? Think back to a time when you faced something challenging. Explore what was happening around you. How did you respond? Are you happy with your response or are there things you would have wanted to change about how you responded to a stressor or challenge? These questions allow you to identify a pattern in your life that you may want to change or explore in more depth. Now, dig a little deeper. This pattern is meaningful to you in some way. When was the first time you engaged in this pattern? How old were you? How old is the part of you that continues to engage in this behavior? What continues that narrative in your mind? What happened as a result of these thoughts, feelings or behaviors?
Supporting ourselves:
So often we set ourselves up to fail. We expect change but do not make changes. In order to succeed in change, we have to set ourselves up for success in the ways that we can. Ask yourself, “How can I make this change easier in my life?” Listen to the thoughts you have here. If you know that you are likely to have less energy at night, plan to do important tasks in the morning time. If you know you are likely to sleep in and snooze your alarm, plan ahead the night before. Set reminders for yourself. Plan your intervention for when you start to engage in the pattern ahead of time rather than letting the pattern take control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Much of this comes from how we engage with ourselves. We are way more likely to succeed if we communicate with ourselves in a way that sets us up for success.
Humans have great capacity for change. However, first we must develop insight into patterns, understand the place these patterns serve in our personal and environmental narratives, and take conscience steps to intervene when necessary. It is easy to let the pattern take over our conscious thought. Remind yourself that you are more than just a pattern. Explore these tips next time you find yourself to be stuck in the same cycle over and over again. Let me know in the comments down below your thoughts on this week’s post. Happy Sunday! I hope it’s a beautiful week ahead.
Mind-Body-Connection 