As we go through life, we gather information about ourselves and others that form our personal story. We remember times we felt awesome, times we felt stupid or less than, and everything in between. We gather information from experiences with teachers like your 10th grade English teacher who told you that you weren’t the brightest or the time you tripped in gym class and the cool guy from the football team laughed at you. We remember the time we crushed it at a business meeting with a high-powered executive or the moment you overcame a challenge at the gym for the first time.
Over time we start to form narratives about what these experiences mean about who we are, our strengths, and our weaknesses. At times, we love these narratives and they serve to support the person we were, are and are becoming, however, at times these narratives become outdated, unsupported or conflict with who we are and what we want.
When narratives no longer align with who we see ourselves to be, this disconnect can result in anxiety, incongruence, or frustration with ourselves. While a narrative as a whole may not serve us anymore, there may be parts of it that we still connect to in some way or a part of ourselves that still aligns with that story and keeps it around. As we start to challenge those narratives and there is a disconnect that can often result in feelings of anger towards ourselves when we connect with that outdated narrative or that part of ourselves that we no longer wish to see. As that anger comes up it often results in thoughts that are judgmental of the needs of those parts of ourselves.
When we judge the needs of these parts of ourselves or become angry for a narrative resurfacing in some way we are denying ourselves of a valuable experience. I wonder what it would be like to notice when a narrative or belief is coming up for you and instead of judging that part of you, notice what need it might be serving for you. Is that belief protecting you from something? Is it giving you security? It is a hope you had from a younger self? What might be the thing that the part is asking you for? How can you respond in a way that is supportive to you?
In an effort to get to know the parts of ourselves that we dislike, why they are there, and what function they serve, we open ourselves up to be able to learn how to communicate with ourselves. By allowing ourselves the chance to get to know ourselves, our needs, and our stories we create a deeper understanding of how to change and if that belief is something that aligns with who we are. Our lives are a collection of stories and meaning making moments that create who we see ourselves to be. Over time, those stories change, develop or unfold in unexpected and expected ways. Let us be flexible in our view of ourselves and allow it the space to change, develop and unfold.
Mind-Body-Connection 