Before I started this blog, I had a dream of writing. This dream was always a pipe dream; something I thought about often but did not think could be a reality nor was I taking any steps to make it happen for myself. I was living in fear. This fear was fed by beliefs that I had. Your high school English teacher that one year told you that you would only be a good writer never a great writer. You don’t have enough experience to make a difference in people’s lives. Nobody would read it anyway. These beliefs kept me stagnant. They formed a safety net for me to fall back on if I never achieved the dream. I was preparing myself to fail before I even started the journey just to cushion the blow to my ego if I failed.
In life, we often act from this protective, defensive stance. We create beliefs about an experience that tell us what is possible in life. As explored in the theory of social constructionism, these beliefs can be formed from past experiences, messages we receive, societal standards, and institutionalized beliefs and limitations. We absorb these messages like a sponge, silently creating the beliefs around what we perceive to be a possibility for us. We protect ourselves from failure, from the opinion of others, or from getting hurt by someone. We hold back, we censor, and we live in fear at times. Now I am asking what if we acknowledge these things, and do the things we want to do anyway?
This brings me to the idea of mindfulness. Mindfulness has become a buzzword in mainstream society. Mental health techniques go in and out of style like the cut of our jeans and the current trend is having a mindfulness practice. This leads to a lot of misconceptions. What does it actually mean to be mindful? I bet you anything that when you think of the word a stereotype of a yoga practicing, green juice drinking person who oozes a constant state of peace and zen comes to mind. For some people that is how they find mindfulness and the more power to them, however, for most I am going to tell you to throw that image out the window.
Mindfulness is leading life with intentionality. Mindfulness is bringing attention to the underlying emotions, making an effort to validate them, making an effort to understand them and making a choice that is purposeful rather than driven by reactivity. I say, “making an effort” because as humans this is a challenging thing to do. The goal is to make tiny steps towards small realizations that we have choice in life. We may not be able to control what happens in our environment, but we are able to control our reactions and behaviors with practice over time.
I ask you to explore your safety net of beliefs that keep you in your comfort zone. What might these beliefs be protecting you from? Allow yourself the space to thank your brain for protecting you and doing such an awesome job at it. Give yourself permission to bring some understanding into that space and to feel gratitude to yourself for keeping yourself “safe”. Face the fear that is there and make the choice consciously rather than reactively. Even if you just notice it, that is progress.
About one month ago, I created a blog on what I thought was a free site thinking, “Well if I don’t do it, it does not matter because it is free”. Then my credit card was charged for the subscription. Oops. I had a choice to make. I could stop and let the fear keep me in my safety net or I could push forward, acknowledge that this scared me, and write. Every week I face my fear and write about some thoughts that I have. Each time I am building up my confidence in myself that I can be a little scared, acknowledge it and do it anyway. I am a person who can do things that scare me and so are you. I want to hear about the ways you challenge yourself and face your fears down below!
Mind-Body-Connection 